Infertility & loss – 6 ways to start healing
Sometimes the journey to starting or adding to your family can become an emotional rollercoaster. A difficult and isolating experience where much of the emotional burden is carried silently. Fertility challenges can bring additional stress, emotional and physical pain to you and your partner.
When trying to fall pregnant, many women face each new cycle with a renewed sense of hope, of new possibilities and beginnings. As ovulation occurs, then the long wait must be endured and feelings shift to worry and fear and sometimes followed by disappointment and grief. And then the cycle continues and a new opportunity is born.
The common struggles are the inability to share your experience with friends in case you upset their happy baby/pregnancy bubble, or for feelings of inadequacy like there is something wrong with you. Women may have a work environment that is demanding and little flexibility or friends and family that don’t understand what you are going through or have the right tools to support you on your fertility path.
Dealing with the feeling of hopelessness, and loss require being ok with the grieving process. Grief is normal, its ok and it’s here for the moment. Grief is a natural response to losing something that we have loved and hoped for.
Allow yourself to feel. Allow yourself to rest. Allow yourself the space to heal. Allow yourself to say to no to things that you don’t want to do. Allow yourself to love your body
It is important to feel safe, heard and have a collaborative support team that can help your mind, body and emotions. Here are some tools that may help you:
REST WELL
Give yourself some emotional and physical time out. Learn how to say no to things that you don’t want to do and focus on self love and self care. If you are exhausted take time to sleep, seek rejuvenation in nature (bathe in its beauty), and nourish your body with healing and whole foods.
ACKNOWLEDGE HOW YOU ARE FEELING
Grieve – this is an important part of the process.
Set time aside each day to check in how you are feeling. Don’t linger in the darkness, the intention is not to dwell, but to acknowledge where you are at. By going within and bringing awareness to your body - your present state, you are tending to your own wellbeing and holding yourself.
If you have a close, understanding and supportive friend you may feel comfortable enough to share how you are feeling. This may help with the healing process and reduce the burden that you are carrying.
Take your mind off it, but try to do this through pleasurable things, rather than throwing yourself into your work.
SELF CARE & MOVEMENT
Fertility challenges can be stressful and overwhelming. Self Care is essential to being able to manage and reduce stress levels and also to give you a sense of empowerment and control over your life.
Moving your body is a way that brings you joy as well as feeling and connecting with your body is important. Exercise strengthens the body, makes you feel good, and can even bring about improvements in your fertility. Activities such as qi gong, yin yoga and tai chi help to make you feel calm, grounded and allow you to let go and breathe.
COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARTNER
Coping with loss can be isolating and energetically draining. No one can know exactly how you are feeling and what you are going through mentally and physically. Your partner may also be suffering and it may be beneficial to communicate with your partner. By understanding one another’s feelings it can help strengthen the relationship and ease some of the pain you’re feeling.
FIND A SUPPORT GROUP
Finding professional support may be the first step is helping you grieve your loss and honouring where you have been. It is the stepping stone in navigating the next step of your life and with the right support you will feel heard, supported and understood.
“Connection is why we are here. We’re hardwired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives and without it there is suffering.” Brene Brown
A support group or counsellor can help you connect with other women and being able to talk to someone who has been through it, who has walked a similar journey to you and who understands how you’re feeling can make all the difference. You are not alone; more than 6 million women in the US alone have trouble getting pregnant or staying pregnant. The Pink Elephants Support Group has some useful resources and support groups.
SEEK NATURAL & HOLISTIC TREATMENT
Nutrition can address health factors that may be associated with increased risk of miscarriage or infertility (weight, hormonal imbalances, nutritional deficiencies, immunological issues and also help support digestive health). Medicinal herbs can also be used to support optimal wellbeing and help restore balance to your body.
Help improve egg quality
Improve endometrial lining
Reduce inflammation and pain
Regulate hormones
Reduce oxidative damage
Regulate menstrual cycle
Making your body 'fertile ready’ comes with the added bonus of improving your own health. It increases your chances of natural conception, having a healthy pregnancy, a natural labour and having a happy, healthy baby.
Tori delivers this care through complementary medicines including evidence based nutritional supplementation, herbal medicines, dietary and lifestyle modifications, fertility education and support.
If you would like support to heal your body and optimise your fertility please book in to see me.
I can help you experience abundant health and vitality and regain balance to your life. Together we will delve into the healing and nurturing practices that will make your life more rich and fertile. To see how we can work together book a free discovery call at my women’s health natural fertility clinic. Click here to book an appointment
I am a naturopath, clinical nutritionist, mother, nature lover and yoga enthusiast – just to name a few of my passions. I’m a degree-qualified naturopath, studying Ayurveda and Feminine Form Medicine and my mission is to help women have more rich and fertile lives. I have a passion for helping women restore balance to their hormones, connect with their fertility and lead abundant, healthy, vibrant lives. Learn more about how you can work with me here.